Modern life is complicated. Most of us ease into it as we grow into adulthood, so we don’t really register how much shit there really is to manage. Health, taxes, insurance and all the rest of it, it’s a lot.
If you’re reckless, you can just skip town and let it all go to hell in a hand basket, or you can go line by line and set yourself up. Some of these are things everyone — travelers and non-travelers alike — need anyway, like estate management.
Let’s start with that services that only travelers require.
This is a long topic that demands its own page, which you can find here. I suggest you read it, especially if you feel anything that even slightly resembles that unthinkably foolish inclination to travel overseas without travel insurance.
Wherever you can, go paperless and very little will remain except junk mail. Now and then, something will come that requires your attention or you’ll need upon your return.
If you’re mothballing your home and will still receive mail there, install a slot in your door and sign up for USPS Informed Delivery. You’ll receive a scan of each mail item in your inbox, so you know everything that’s arriving even before the carrier delivers it.
If something is urgent, you can beg a friend to go open it and call you.
For people who sublet their homes, I don’t recommend asking your tenants to hang onto mail. Instead, forward it to someone who doesn’t mind receiving it on your behalf.
The current limit for mail forwarding is 12 months. If you plan to travel beyond that, you might need to actually change your address to theirs. That’s no trouble if they live in the same area you do. If they’re far away though, this can create strange hassles, especially for things like insurance, where policies vary by state.
You might then consider having mail sent to a virtual mailbox service, such as SnapMailbox. They’ll receive your mail, scan the outside and send you the images. If you need to view what’s inside, they’ll open it, scan the contents and send those images to you as well. You can also have them forward the hard copies to you or someone else.
What’s a VPN? Short for virtual private networks, VPNs are like money laundering for your data.
Whenever you connect with a website or an app, they know the location of the point from which you’re accessing the internet. This is a problem if you want to log into certain apps, such as banking or video streaming.
VPN services maintain servers in the countries where you want to appear you are. You connect with that server over an encrypted, secure connection and it does the browsing for you by proxy and sends you whatever data it receives. Your physical location then appears to be the location that server. This process is totally automatic and runs in the background. From the perspective of the user, it’s web surfing as usual.
Not getting it still? Here’s an analogy: Imagine you live in Buenos Aires, but you change your address to your sister’s house in Chicago. When the bank sends you your tax forms, for example, she forwards them to you in Argentina and the bank has no idea. As far as they’re concerned, you live in Illinois. Your sister, in this case, is the VPN.
VPNs also use powerful security to ensure any bad actors who have hacked a public router, for example, cannot access your transmissions. If you use wifi to access banking data or make a sensitive wifi call, always always always funnel that through your VPN.
Be warned: There are lots of VPNs out there, and many are owned by mysterious organizations. They claim their anonymity helps protect your data, but after I learned who owned Nord, I don’t believe anyone who says that. Now I stick to Proton only.
At some point you’ll need to make an actual phone call that originates from your US number or receive an SMS with a two-factor code. This has historically been annoying as all fucking hell, but it’s become simpler recently.
The easiest thing to do is port your number over to a cheapo prepaid carrier like Mint and reduce your plan to the minimum. Then switch on wifi calling. Yes, you’ll need to have wifi to make calls, but this really works.
Having a Google Voice number is also nice, but not hugely advantageous because it has to be linked to a permanent, active number registered to a US carrier. Meaning, for it to work, you still have to maintain your US line.
Living in the cloud is so common there’s nothing I can say that doesn’t sound like a bad TV commercial during Meet the Press. You already know the major players — Apple, Google, DropBox, etc. — so sign up for whichever you like
You’re primarily going to use it to back up your devices in the unlikely event of theft, breakage or loss, so schedule nightly backup sessions. Just make sure you limit backups to wifi. Unlimited mobile data doesn’t exist most places as it does in the States, and cloud updates burn through gigabytes quickly.
Unless we’re talking Korean budae jjigae (aka Army Stew), spam sucks. Sadly, backpackers frequently find their inboxes mysteriously throttled with it. The solution? A burner email.
Every man I knew who grew up gay the early 2000s had a fake e-mail address for anonymously sending naughty messages on the sly. We’ve evolved to more sophisticated methods, but I still have mine and use it when I need to provide a verified email to use public wifi, for example.
This is called a burner e-mail, and it’s an account that’s verified — meaning you can log into it and find messages that have validation links — but is never used for any kind of real correspondence and isn’t connected to anything that can be linked back to you.
The handle can be anything you like. I actually recommend it be a different provider so you don’t have to log out of your real one and into the other. So if, for example, your primary address is brendadickson@gmail.com, set up a new account called brendadicksonspam@hotmail.com. Microsoft could benefit from the appearance of acquiring a new customer.
I’ve had mine for ages and the address is givebackmypants@yahoo.com. Go ahead and email me there if you want. I almost never check it and will never see what you’ve sent, so feel free to fire off a few nudie pics.
When I was kid, my mom would always clean the house before we left on summer vacation, so we didn’t come back to a giant mess.
For you, this means clean your house. It also means enlist someone to make sure that it doesn’t turn into a dump out of sheer neglect. If you own a home, you know just how much goes wrong on its own.
Whether you sublet or mothball it, here are the things you need your house manager to tend to while you’re away:
It’s a lot, and if you’re hiring a professional to manage your house, they know that. If you’re asking a loved one to do the job, share this list and a schedule check-ins with them. Remind them too that they should check on the place after natural disasters.
There are also services very similar to ones you use at home that have been re-engineered for travelers or which you’ll need to approach differently.
Much like travel insurance, this requires its own page. Everything you need to know is right here.
Though I’ve never told him this, my accountant Howard is one of my favorite people alive. He’s the warmest man in Manhattan, and every time I see him, I just want him to give me a hug and tell me everything will be alright — not just with my taxes but literally everything in the world. I’d believe him.
Not only does Howard prepare my returns and keep me an honest man at tax time, he’s also my lawyer. It’s fair to say I trust Howard more than anyone else I know, even myself.
Everyone needs a Howard. Or an Arlene. Or a Darrell. Or a Floyd, Jamal, Min, Lupita, Patty or whatever as long as they’re good. Find yours, especially if you have freelance or investment income, own property, run a company or drive an historic car.
Before you leave, explain to your Howard what you’re doing so he or she can make any necessary preparations. Mine got all my taxes up to date. He also sorted my legal affairs, reassured me he would file my extension on time, promised he’d make time to meet after I got back and sent me off to Spain worry-free.
I got no assurance of a hug (or adoption, which is the ultimate goal), but I’m hoping he’ll read this and consider it.
Nobody likes to think about their end, but the world is full of amazing, cool things that can kill you. Fun fact: about half of them are in Australia. If you go there, say your prayers.
A simple will is easy to set up. I had my Howard do mine, because, like I say elsewhere, he also happens to be a lawyer. There are other ways to get it done though that don’t involve such personal attention. What matters is that you do.
If you don’t want to dive too deeply into the nitty-gritty of who gets what, do what I did and name an executor who you trust to thoughtfully distribute your belongings. Of course they might disregard your wishes and blow your entire estate on hats and floozies, but you won’t care. You’ll be dead.
The likelihood of going missing, experiencing an exotic, mysterious demise or even being incapacitated is beyond tiny. Every year, millions of people wander around the world and nearly everyone makes it back home safely. You almost certainly will too.
Anyone who’s watched a soap opera knows how inconvenient a coma or other dramatic event can be — even if you’re not an oil tycoon — so you should designate someone to manage your affairs in your absence. That person holds what we call power of attorney (POA), and a lawyer will need to set it up.
Remember to include medical authority. Your living will should dictate certain if/then decisions, but someone you trust has to execute them. Maybe put the responsibility to pull the plug in the hands of someone who won’t financially benefit from ending your life, like parents, friends or former colleagues.
In the event you go missing (intentionally or otherwise), you should know process for a missing person to be declared legally dead, or, in legal-ese, “presumed dead,” is typically five to seven years. From there, probate can commence to dispense with your assets. If you don’t want to wait that long, you can ask the person who holds power of attorney to access to your finances and operate on your behalf. You simply have to specify this in your will.
Anyone who has power of attorney will need the following. Prepare it for them in advance.
If you’re a nurse, architect, hair stylist or anything that requires a professional license, you might need to tend to that while you’re away.
First step: Check the expiry dates. If renewal will occur while you’re away, see if you can process it online. If paper submissions are necessary, read on.
Power of attorney(POA) is extremely helpful here. Whoever you’ve designated to operate on your behalf, grant them the authority to manage this for you and remind them when the time comes. Also, gather and complete the necessary paperwork in advance.
It’s possible those papers will require a certified signature within a certain window of time. If your departure falls beyond of that limit, see if your designee with POA can do this. If not, call the US embassy in the country you’ll be at that time to inquire about the availability of notary services.
Those are often posted on embassy websites, but call anyway and ask if those services occur on- or off-site and whether you’ll need an appointment and how far in advance to make it. When you go, have two copies certified and have the dupes sent to a trusted loved one back home.
Call your state licensing board as well to confirm that a notary from overseas will suffice. If it’s from the embassy, it should. If the licensing board only recognizes certification from certain countries or none at all, find out what those limitation are and plan accordingly.
Lastly, locate a delivery service that can guarantee your documents will arrive on time. Foreign postal services are great for shipping your old clothes or souvenirs back home, but anything timely requires a courier service, like DHL or FedEx.
Note that some licensing boards might only accept documents via the US postal service. If that’s the case, send your documents to your person with POA and have them forward it through USPS as required.
My privacy policy is simple: I don’t share your information.
Yea, it’s just a name, email and nationality, but I’m sure there are people who would pay for it. My thoughts on that: fuck those people and fuck those fuckers who sell personal information to them. You’ll find none of that monkey business here.
If I get hacked and your info get stolen, I’ll shoot you a note to let you know. I don’t deal in passwords, credit cards or anything like that though, so there’s almost nothing for anyone to take.
To see the full privacy policy — it’s pretty boring and cost me a lot of money — you can follow the link at the bottom of the page or in the confirmation email.
Domestic American air travel is a racket run by three major companies and a few smaller ones who effectively collude on prices to screw passengers and support their bloated executives and corporate structures.
Even regional jets, which are technically independent, are fucking death traps that I literally never, ever fly.
It’s not this way in other countries, because most people are sensible and see transportation as akin to a public utility. It’s therefore common to find flights on foreign carriers for under $100. I frequently see fares less $50.
Booking far in advance is therefore unnecessary, except of course in places where tickets sell out. Avoid the temptation to book months or weeks out if you’re just trying to save money. Not only will doing so lock you into dates you might regret, you may end up paying. Why? Booking sites now sniff for your computer’s location and display higher prices for foreigners.
Rude, right? Blame the mirror. We invented that.
First, some bad news for most Americans: automatic transmissions are as rare overseas as manuals are in the US. Unless you want to seriously overpay, make friends with someone who owns an old Miata and learn.
Second, anyone who wants to rent a car should obtain an international driver’s permit. This is easy — just 30 minutes at AAA.
When it’s time to rent, don’t get tempted by lower prices with small, local companies. Go with a big multi-national.
Understand your insurance situation through-and-through. Know the limits of your credit card’s automatic coverage and have a printout of the policy. If you can get a translated copy, even better. If you’re still in doubt after all that, just pay for their coverage.
Research the scams. Before you drive off the lot, walk around the vehicle and video record it. When you return the car, do the same. Also record yourself locking it and depositing the key in the night box if you return after hours.
If you get a notice from the rental company later saying you owe for damage or not returning the car, you can send them those videos with an E-vite to go get fucked. You might also copy tourist law enforcement, so they get fined to oblivion.
It’s tricky, but you need to basically study each country’s road laws and signs like you’re getting your student driver’s permit again. Most places have tricky rules, and they love to fine gringoes like us for violating them.
In Cyprus, for example, you can be fined for eating or drinking anything behind the wheel, even a Snickers. In Denmark, you’re legally required to look under your car before you get inside to ensure no one is underneath. In Spain, drivers with poor vision have to carry a spare set of glasses. Dirty cars are illegal in Russia, as is splashing pedestrians on a rainy day in Japan.
In some places, driving is really difficult. I pity any fool who tries to drive in Cairo. You can also very swiftly kill yourself on a German highway if you’re untrained. Driving at 120 MPH is far more complex than simply pressing the accelerator further.
Fare classes are highly inconsistent.
First class in one country is generally different to first class in any other. The same is true of second, third and so on. They vary wildly by country and system.
If it’s fiscally reasonable, I choose first for early mornings and overnights. They really are better, even just for security of your belongings.
The one time I settled for a second-class overnight, I had to physically fight a mouth-breathing Russian girl who was sweating vodka and wouldn’t stop burying her face into my lap to huff my underpants like Whip-Its. I wish I was making this up, but it’s true. I arrived sleepless, angry and ugly. It ruined my first day in Lisbon and I only had five. First class would have been worth the cost. Second class is my usual go-to. For shorter trips or anything after 9 a.m. I go second.
If I want an adventure, I go even lower. Some agents won’t sell those tickets to tourists though unless you insist.
Nomads and backpackers who don’t do the travel hacking thing usually buy cheap flights. Be careful of taking that too far.
For starters, you need to observe weight limits on baggage. In the US, no one gives a shit, but elsewhere they care. The care deeply. Never buy a ticket that forces you to pay weight overages.
Seats are also important, but not for comfort. I never take bulkhead or exit-row seats unless I pay for early boarding. Both offer less (or zero) under-seat storage, so being in a later boarding group puts you at risk of having nowhere to put your carry on — or as you’ll hear them called “cabin bags.”
I’ve even been on a flight where the attendant nearly made me check my personal item. I shut that down by threatening to create a scene and de-board, but I could have avoided it by paying $8 for priority boarding.
Countless people have asked if I used an around-the-world plane ticket for my first trip.
My simple response: Don’t ask dumb fucking questions. Also, no, I didn’t.
ATW tickets are nearly useless. They typically require you to book your stops in advance, so there’s too little flexibility. The fine print is also brutal and changes constantly.
Last time I researched them, the price was based on allotments of miles. The number of stops also changed the equation. All of them required you to choose a direction (east-to-west, for example) and none permitted travel in the reverse direction even slightly. Some airlines even insisted all departures had to occur from the same point as arrival, meaning if you traveled by land elsewhere, the airline penalized your mileage allotment.
I said airline there, but ATW tickets come come from a single carrier. Instead, you buy into an alliance, of which I believe there are still only three. Quite the lack of competition there.
ATW fares do lend themselves marvelously to itineraries where you go to a different city each month and make it the base from which you explore the region. This is something we’ll talk about later when we discuss hub-and-spoke travel.
If you have status with a particular airline, you may want to consider their ATW option — emphasis on ‘may’ — but be warned that flying everywhere robs you of some great experiences.
Domestic American air travel is a racket run by three major companies and a few smaller ones who effectively collude on prices to screw passengers and support their bloated executives and corporate structures.
Even regional jets, which are technically independent, are fucking death traps that I literally never, ever fly.
It’s not this way in other countries, because most people are sensible and see transportation as akin to a public utility. It’s therefore common to find flights on foreign carriers for under $100. I frequently see fares less $50.
Booking far in advance is therefore unnecessary, except of course in places where tickets sell out. Avoid the temptation to book months or weeks out if you’re just trying to save money. Not only will doing so lock you into dates you might regret, you may end up paying. Why? Booking sites now sniff for your computer’s location and display higher prices for foreigners.
Rude, right? Blame the mirror. We invented that.
The beauty of hub cities is the slow pace. How slow you take it will vary according to the number of side trips as well as your pace. If you commit to a month though, this introduces the possibility of renting an apartment. Even if you don’t plan to stay the full 30 days, apartment rental is generally very cheap. It can also make cooking easier, which also saves cash.
Cooking for yourself doesn’t have to mean eggs for breakfast and chicken dinners. You can dial up the adventure full throttle if you sign up for a greenmarket food tour and a cooking class right after you arrive. Not only will you know what to do with the local ingredients, you’ll eat better. Plus if you know what you’re doing, the vendors may screw you less, which will offset the price of the guide.
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